Mercedes 300CE
Fun though it might be to thrash a lightweight, no frills
sports car around a track, even the most hardcore autophile
will sometimes desire a machine that will carry him or her
across great distances, without the need for earplugs (Lotus
Elises), full waterproofs (Caterhams) or all of the above
plus a helmet (Ariel Atoms). It would also be nice if such a
machine were equipped with four seats and a decent sized
boot.
There are many cars that will fit this description, but
few that will do so without making you resemble a poorly
performing sales rep (Mondeo, Vectra) an estate agent (3
series, C Class, Volvo) or a local businessman (Lexus, Jag,
large Mercedes.)
Some people, in desperation, take the Italian route and
speak of the ‘passion’ and ‘spirit’ of an Alfa Romeo. If
taken as synonyms for ‘ruinous depreciation’ and ‘unfillable
money pit’ they may be right, but unless you wish to have a
particularly close relationship with the ‘man from the AA’,
it’s probably best to avoid large Italian cars altogether.
There is an answer, however, in the slightly unlikely
form of the Mercedes 300CE. Essentially the coupe version of
the W154 E Series, the 300CE has the important advantage
over its 4 door brother in that it provides a full four
seats and a decent sized boot without making you resemble an
impoverished mini-cab driver.
Built in a time when Mercedes vehicles were still made to
withstand a nuclear winter, the CE range, thanks to the
absence of rear doors, presents a more elegant silhouette
than the German manufacturer’s saloons from the same era. It
may be a little boxy at the front-end, and the grill is as
large and bulky as a Wurlitzer jukebox, but the overall
impression is of sophisticated luxury. It’s the kind of car
that you might imagine old money to own, seeing no reason to
replace their elegant coupe with a vulgar, and somewhat
nouveau riche SLK or CLK.
Inside is more luxury saloon than sporting coupe, with
soft, unsupportive seats and a typically enormous steering
wheel. This ambience, however, seems to match the character
of the car well. This is not an overtly sporting machine –
understeer appears relatively early and there is little joy
to be had in coaxing the rear end into play – but it does
offer compensation to the driver in the form of a supple
ride and the ability to cover great distances, be it in town
or on the open road, with ease.
What the CE also offers is the ability to pass the Bonne
Gauche Hotel Test. This involves driving to an exclusive
country hotel, which preferably contains a Michelin-starred
restaurant, and gauging your own level of embarrassment as
you pass the keys to the staff for valet parking. There are
not many sub £5,000 cars that would not prompt you to swiftly
turn around in shame, but the CE is one of them.
